Edition 2 Issue #37
What hurt am I holding onto? I ask what I’m holding onto because there is only pain if we actually hold onto the hurt. Eckhart Tolle called it the “pain body”. If we resist the pain, the hurt, if we hold it in that special place; where the secret hiding place of the “unwilling to divulge” is hidden away, you know that special place we keep the things we pretend to forget about? Some call the place a ‘closet’, others will refer to it as a ‘box’… Until we are willing to release all the pain and suffering the special place comes back to haunt and hurt us when we least expect, and when we are the most vulnerable. You know exactly the place I mean.
Unless I am completely willing, (see our April 29, 2015 blog post on “WILLINGNESS” by clicking on the link. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly you won’t miss a beat) and I do mean completely willing, to let go (see our January 7, 2015 blog post on “LETTING GO” by clicking on the link. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly you won’t miss a beat), until I am willing in the depths of my heart to let go of the things of the past which I keep in that special, secret, place. The secret place that only I know about, the secret place where my secrets will not ever, and I mean ever, be let out. The hiding place of the most secret and closed-in, the secret place where the ‘pain body’ resides, and unbeknownst to us where this infestation (yes I called it and infestation because until you let it out, until we become willing to let go of the past, it will fester and continue to traumatize us for the rest of our live like a vile dis-ease that it is!). This place has to become open and transparent. We have to come to terms with this hidden and so evil damaging holdout. The place of the pain body where those un-reveal-able things are held, some things could be so long forgotten, so well hidden that nothing short of a complete and in-depth moral inventory (read audit) of ourselves will reveal. In the Big Book of AA the first hundred men and women state: “We beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start?” some pretty strong wording here; begging the reader to be fearless and thorough in a in-depth moral inventory to uncover the unimaginable? Who would dare to be so bold, and for a hundred people to come to consensus on such strong wording? Think about that for just a brief moment? And believe me I know we do not want this change; and we, for some of us at least, have to go through life altering trauma to be able to initiate change, this is the selfish, self-centered life of the alcoholic/addict type. We hold on for dear life to the things that are killing us. We do this not out of spite, or out of a death wish, (I say we don’t do it out of a death wish, but this is in the beginning, some of us are so gripped with pain “pain body” and delusions of persecution, or despair, or not measuring up, or any of a number of reason/causes to slip into such depression which turns into suicidal thoughts, and for the few, suicide attempts. If you’re of this type, if you’re in this place; do it NOW, reach out for help, call your local suicide prevention line, walk over to the nearest community center, the nearest hospital, recovery detox… the resources are there, be sure to use them, to get someone to talk to. So many of us have gone through the pain and suffering (see our November 12, 2014 blog post on “SUFFERING” by clicking on the link. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly so you won’t miss a beat) that we genuinely care and are there to help you. Reach out to a qualified therapist and should they refer you to a support group, know that we are there for you because we understand.) We do it, hold on for dear life to the things that are killing us, unknowingly, mostly, until we have caused so much tragic pain and loss in our lives, in the lives of those who love us, such disastrous behavior behavior in inherent to the alcoholic type, yet is certainly not limited to us.
If you are suffering, especially if you are suffering in silence, you need to reach out now, do it now; you would be surprised at how many people feel your pain. You are not alone, and therefore there are so many of us willing to help, who understand the “pain body” and will help you release this terrible affliction. From dis-ease to a life of ease and joy of a seamless journey to Enloightenment. We are all seekers of peace-of-mind, or joy and serenity. Start your journey today, do it now; know the solution is there, whether it be in the 12 steps like some of us, or in other therapy or recovery systems, we wish you full and speedy recovery.
Look for next week’s edition on “PRESSURE”. And be sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive it directly you won’t miss a beat.
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